Contrary to others, it is because of lack of self affirmation in some people, but in others it may be because of too strong personality. Therefore, those who are ambitious, those who are "leaders", those who can not tolerate others better than others, and others whose creativity is better than themselves may tend to "tit for tat" with others, because the only way to show their status and make them have the strength to face their competitors is to reject and oppose any opinions of others.

Some people often fail to realize that this refutation game is meant to make themselves an important trick. Mark, a 36 year old journalist, was very good at using this trick: "everyone else called me," but Sir, this became my label. Of course, this is not a good reputation, but at least everyone else knows me. "

The continuation of childhood unrest

When we oppose others, we become. Habit Even when it becomes the first reaction, it will affect the smooth flow of interpersonal interaction and even the tense stalemate. Those who like to talk back are often intolerable of being moved by others, and their relationships tend to be unstable. Psychologists believe that such attitudes indicate that the parties are afraid to be swayed by others' demands or swallowed by others. This distrust of the outside world may be caused by a certain mental illness on the one hand. On the other hand, it may also be due to the uneasiness of childhood: when children feel that they are too subservient to their parents' demands and aspirations, when adults face the demands of others, because they are afraid of re experiencing "suppressed" childhood, they will unconsciously refuse to accept everything, good or bad.

　　 I am not good at expressing my dissatisfaction. anger

Denial, refutation and confrontation are also a way to express their aggression. It is always the opposite state that the parties are not good at resenting others and expressing their anger.

You have such a person around you.

Don't argue with him when he speaks back, because that's exactly what he wants to play. Listen carefully to his words and find out what you really identify with in his words. Then, reorganize your opinion and tell him again.

If he is originally self contradictory, do not directly point out, give him time to let himself think and discover these contradictions. In the end, perhaps he will stand up and overturn his previous views, so that he can help him realize his problem. When speaking to him, do not use orders, accusations, coercion or dignified tone. Only when he does not feel the danger of "Qu Conghe being suppressed" will he open his heart and communicate with you.

You are such a person.

Distinguish emotions and opinions

When talking to others, do not immediately refute and publish your "differences". Opinion Instead, I will give myself time to rethink what I have just heard: what emotions do these words give me? Then, go deep into the information hidden behind the words: what do I really think? The purpose is to measure your emotions in your relationship with others, and to learn to choose between emotion and reason. I suggest you have two steps in expressing yourself: first, what you just said to me annoyed me; then I thought so, and my point of view is...

Try to dominate the conversation.

Don't wait for others to put forward your opinions. You can retort and don't wait to react to others' words. You can take the initiative to put forward the topic of conversation and express yourself first. In this way, you will no longer have the possibility of being "at a disadvantage" or "must be subservient", and at the same time allow yourself to sum up your own thoughts, because a clear understanding of yourself is the basis for self affirmation.

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